looking back at some pictures from a trip not so long ago, i realized that i was too busy looking at the smile upon my own face that it never occurred to me that he really was never happy, at least thru the eyes and mediocre smile. i come to the reality that happiness is in the eye of the beholder...

...next time i better put on my glasses, i might see better. must make mental note to continually look at things in a new perspective.

did i tell you that i have officially no life now with all the readings upon readings that i have to do for the phD seminar i'm taking?! crazeee.

no one ever sees this part of the reagan national airport...but i did this last time i went home. it looks like a creampuff, or a piece of plastic, or the inside of an elaborate flower, and yet the stars are intermingled within this horizontal plane adding an eery mystery to it all.

sorry no updates lately. busy busy bumblebee, yea you know me. grad school starts today. what shall i wear...will the other kids be bigger than me? just kidding, i just have this slight fear that i've been out of the loop for the last three years, academics wise, and well...going back to school is kinda scary. um, i gotta go downstairs and unpack from the ikea run...sort out what i'm bringing to studio and what i'm leaving here. my updates to my blog are going to be kinda infrequent in the next couple of weeks, at least until my laptop finally arrives. i'll try to stay in touch as much as possible. i spent a large portion of the weekend, sorting and cataloging and alphabetizing my entire architecture magazine collection. i remember other people with similar complusions and wonder if it was something i caught, or perhaps i have always been complusive myself. i figure it was the latter, but realizing that other people do the same might have encouraged the behavior in allowing me to think it was somewhat normal.

back in d.c., suffering from a severe case of jet lag, went to bed at midnite, woke up at 3:15 and then didn't fall back asleep till 5:30 only to wake to the alarm at 6. not only that but they closed starbux by my work....who would've ever imagined, starbux closing??? it's only temporarily, renovations and improvements...anyhow, the inconvenience got me a coupon for free coffee. now how super is that? i was forced to go across the street and drink cosi. it must've been fate though, this starbucks closing and causing me to go elsewhere cuz i was doomed to run into my old co-workers, whom i've been avoiding due to the lack of responsiblity i wish to claim for their irresponsibility. anyhow, i am now strung into going to my old job next week sometime and teaching the "new girl" how to handle my project and how to do my job. this is should be fun....or it just may convince her to quit while she's ahead. i think i scared off the last potential when i had to tell her all i did...oh well not my problem. and they better pay me consulting fees now plus time and money for transportation all the way out there. enough griping about old work. i love my new work. laid back...no stress...cool music....super cool boss. i mean how much cooler a boss can you get than one who gives you tickets to go see "sneaker pimps" tonight for free, drinks included! gotta run....time to make a costco run cuz we are all out of food!

i got an email from surrogate brother in l.a. today. so while i work on making these other pics smaller, here's something to keep you entertained in the meantime. he always has the insight into these kinds of things. and for years i've been telling him that instead of being an architect, he should be one of those people who storyboards movies...he is the best.

"I've recently discovered the "Korean New Wave", a bold and inventive brand of cinema emerging from the homeland of my parents. These films are getting all sorts of international recognition but have yet to be seen in the United States.

I've attached a pic from "Oldboy", the recent winner of the Grand Prize at the Cannes Film Festival. This movie is one of the best movies you'll never see. Univeral has bought the rights to the movie, but will not be showing it in theaters. Instead they will remake it into an Americanized version (meaning they gonna replace all the asian people with white people and call it a new movie).

This movie floored me. It's been a long time since I had seen a movie that was utterly unique and original. It was exilerating, painful, funny, and quite disturbing. Beautiful and Ugly. "

i think my latvian royalty on the east coast is getting perturbed with me since i haven't been updating my little place in cyberspace as frequently as she'd like. i'm going to try and fix up some of the pics she sent me and post them here....it just takes forever because my brother still hasn't been introduced to the wonderful worl of dsl/broadband where lightning fast uploading can occur...but i'll try nonetheless...forgive me for my delinquency.

well, it seems that my plans for a relaxing vacation and time with friends hanging out in the city that i never get to see anymore have been almost completely squandered. here it is friday, and i have officially been sick now for about 5 days. i feel better but i can get rid of this horrible sinus cold. i hate the fact that my mom doesn't have the kleenex with lotion in it cuz my nose feels about ready to fall off and it sux. anyhow, the time hasn't been ill spent. i've got to see my brother and mom and dad more than i have any of the last four times i've been home this year. so the family time has been worth it, but i fear that i may have now gotten my mom sick which is bad cuz her immune system is about 4 times worse than mine. yesterday, vaughn and i went down to san jose state to buy his books for school and i can tell that he is now finally getting excited about the whole process. he is happy that he is going to be majoring in the coolest building on campus, yet is still depressed that he has to live at home for the first couple semesters. all of his friends that are going to sjsu get to live in the dorms and i know he feels a little left out. but then i remind him that he has his car, and he knows how much money he's put into it for lights, and bumber, and bucket seats, and a whole bunch of other stuff that i don't even realize. anyhow, he is happy about being in college and a little scared as far as computer engineering is concerned. i'm confident he'll be fine once he gets adjusted or maladjusted to college life. i was supposed to go see a show in the city tomorrow night with my friend who is in love with this up and coming new band. but i don't want to get sicker, and really need to get better before my own school starts. (sigh) i guess i'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

in other news, i failed my mechanical/electrical architecture test. which is not too much of a surprise. i had a horrible feeling going into it and came out of it feeling even worse. it was not at all what i expected nor what the study material covered. oh well...i guess i'll have to wait till january 2005 now to take it. which is a bummer, but what can i do? there are 7 more to take in the mean time. i made my roommates open my mail and be the bearers of bad news. well, at least i've passed one so far....my brother is just happy that i am actually capable of failing a test at all.

i still haven't signed up for classes or paid for tuition....i'm a little worried about the whole process since i haven't really been able to contact anyone about it. as far as i can figure, i can do it all on august 9th, which is next monday i think.

i can't wait till school starts. m y new job is turning out to be pretty favorable. although i'm not getting paid hardly anything. which is bad since money is going to be fairly tight with school coming and the hopes of going to europe for spring semester. but i figure that god provides everything we need, and if it is his will, then everything will fall into place accordingly.

ok, mom is home now, so i'm going to go. i just wanted to update you all there on the east and let you know i haven't fallen so ill that my words have been taken from me. later later. here's a pic of me in new york from brigita's camera phone....my brother said i look like i'm thiry-something years old....that's really bad....but then i guess it all evens out cuz since i've been home, he says i'm more like 19.

can you believe it? i come home, and my body decides to get sick. i've spent practically all day today in bed trying to let it fight itself. thank heavens for mom. being sick at home where mom can cook all kinds of wonderful food is sooo mcuh better than being sick and alone. anyhow, after sleeping most of the day, i've woken up to an empty house. everyone is out doing errands. and here i am still in my pj's wishing badly that iwasn't sick. anyhow, i went to church yesterday and felt mediocre, and then to lunch and the movies with some friends afterwards. but by the time i got home, my body decided to say no more. here i am, with the kleenex box as my new best friend and hating every second of it. anyhow, i have to get better so my entire vacation isn't ruined compeltely. i've had too many of those this past year. i haven't been going to the gym as regularly as i was a few months ago, and have a feeling that's why my immune system is all out of whack. i haven't really been sick for the past 3 years, and all of a sudden it's hitting me all at once. anyhow, it's not as bad as my dear friend in baltimore who called me yesterday to confirm that he wasn't dying. he's been in the hospital now three times in the past 6 months and they were worried it might be leukemia, or hiv....turns out it may be a hernia. he goes in for a cat scan on wednesday so please keep him in your prayers. he is one of the golden people on this earth that has the ability to attract the attention of people, and optimism exudes from his body. something which i am not known for at all. it would be a very sad thing if soemthing were to happen to this boy. i am always saddened when horrible things happen to my friends...even though i know that it is all for good purpose unbeknownst to me. ok....i'm tired of typing. i'm going to go drink another gallon of water and see what movies my brother rented for me to watch. my latvian princess sent me all these wonderful pics of our new york trip....i tried to post mine last week but was having a bugger of a time. don't worry i haven't forgotten to share them....but you will all have to wait till i get back from california now....