this was supposed to be posted 2 days ago...been backed up since conversations with family and working have overtaken the last 24 hours - but i think i'll just list a few highlights/updates of what has been going on the last week or so:

*my anomaly called last monday and i was able to fill in all the blanks since thanksgiving. funny cuz when i answered the phone i was greeted with a "hey, fellow partner in crime..." so true. anyhow, after a careful exchange of dramatic storytelling, the conversation drew to a close and i longed for green tea in aqua pots and a cracked aqua cup. i missed waking up for a moment to a bright, sunshiny room and watching the windswept leaves dance outside the window.

*i spent a few days after finals were over relaxing and walking the streets of alexandria. it snowed and cleaned me of thoughts and the brisk air filled me with a sense of renewal. a friend had a party at his house the evening the snow and freeze came, a little celebration and good-bye to those who will be going back to chile & germany. so sad, and yet such a good time was had. although, i must admit, i may, er...um, i mean, i definitely had a little too much too drink. the combination of 1/2 bottle red wine + 1/2 bottle of champagne + 1 too many questions and comments about how well i'm doing in spite of everything = an embarrassing and tough few moments going home. so happy and grateful to have surrounded myself with such understanding and supportive friends. i am truly blessed with the most awesome friends and companions. if it weren't for these beings, i would truly feel like it were me versus the world. (note to self: do not let adorable, german boys keep pouring champagne into your glass!)

*went to my old office's holiday party at salo's house with different boy this year...it did stir up a slight amount of questions but they were for the most part avoided and understood. so glad i brought the one and only e.k. (he came out number 1 amongst the handful of options i had in mind)...dressed the part as always - and in the most awesome stripes, was confident to mingle that i didn't have any need to worry at all throughout the night, whipped out the multi-lingualness that impressed a few, sparked a conversation with the coolest structural engineer ever that later led to the structural guru's very in depth conversation with me, totally bragged the next day about how i was part of one of the most awesome houses he's ever been in...thoughtful, very thoughtful. and though we are merely friends, an understanding runs between us that if he ever finds the right ashton kutcher, he's introducing me to him in a sec...now how kewl is that? and what boy is confident enough to acknowledge that some boys are just too pretty for words?! e.k. you are just way too cool.

*on other boy notes...i've realized that i need to be a little more sensitive towards others feelings, as i am beginning to see that some are not at the same maturity level or have had the depth of experience as i may have encountered in my so far 26 years of life. while some say, "eh, we are young and we are supposed to have fun!" others are overwhelmed by feelings that may lead to...um, well uncomfortable "i dunno's".

*after the day of the party, i woke up extremely early and walked in what i later found out to be 8 degree weather, back to school to speak some words with 2 individuals in particular. isn't it just the most wonderful feeling to know that honesty and a complete openess of conversation can be the most healthy thing when tough times are to be faced and obstacles/feelings to be overcome? i have met some of the most amazing individuals (note the emphasized plural of individuals) these last few weeks. and for this reason, i am very happy that certain things transpired this past semester. it is only through the conversations and shared experiences with other people, that our own eyes can be opened up. speaking with my father, who shares this same notion, that the more people we choose to expose our lives to, the better and more growth we ourselves can experience...perhaps this is what i have been lacking these past few years. i think that i shut myself out to the world...whomever i wish to be with in the longterm future should not hinder this growth, but have the same enjoyment for exposure and ever-expanding friendship.

*since i've been back, my dad proposed a money making operation to mybrother and i. so, since i am over budget these past few months, how could i turn down the offer. in turn then, today, as well as the next few days, will be filled with dreams of drywall and paint and spackle. fun, fun, fun. actually, despite the fact that it is my vacation at home, i can't imagine not coming home and working on some sort of project with dad. it is part of what makes home home.

*i really want to spend some time in the city while i am at home this time...last time i didn't get too much of a chance to do so...or to have coffee with peoples and long talks, nor have time to take a trip to my beach. sigh.

*spent some time yesterday with my brother and his friend. we ate pho, and went to fry's, and goldilocks to pick up some filipino mamon. it was pretty cool and i felt a boost of confidence when my brother's friend told me that i'm one of the few actual "adults" that knew of his past life. does that make me the cool oder sister? hope so.

*(stretch) i need a massage....it's been a long, long, long while since someone gave me a really, really, enjoyable, and completely relaxing massage.

*i really have no desire right now to put any effort into any kind of friendship my no-longer-other-half. it will take some time to not cringe when the phone rings and i see his name. it will take perhaps more time to have a really meaningful conversation where netiehr of us says something that hurts the other in some manner. he does not realize this right at this moment, and feels that we can sugar coat and make everything better instantaneously. after almost 4-1/2 years of hurting one another, it wouldn't surprise me if it takes just as long to heal what has been hurt. from past experience, it takes almost this time to start something new, to have a friendship where you can talk about what has transpired during your day without any attached emotion to the past. but there are still some issues of forgiveness that must be dealt with and a true, real friendship cannot ensue or begin until these things are left behind for good.

*just tried to called my latvian princess...but my phone is having issues here in california. she is a devoted follower to my blog though and hopefully will read this and know that i have not forgotten her. although i do have some stories for her to be jealous of that i have to share. we really need a girl-talk session soon. january 12 i will be back...when can we go get our nails done?
*ali, the playa, called to check up on me...seriously, i have the most awesome of friends.

*ok, i should start writing my paper for marco....time is counting down, and i really need to begin again...