i've been thinking how best to describe my trip to new york...i haven't yet been able to fully describe to anyone the impact of complete comfort and relaxation the 5 or so days had upon me and for the calming of my being. it was nice to be able to breathe freely, no pressures, no forced conversation, nothing to guide thought, but just a thoughtful wandering both in the physical and mental senses, which is rare. i began a list of moments to remember as i sat on the bus ride back from new york, subtle reminders of moments or events that brought a smile to my face, or moments that i wish to remember and feel that they contributed some importance to why this extended weekend flowed so smoothly...here then is my list as of yet...perhaps already my mind has forgotten things...if so, please remind me ---

-perpetuality :-)
-cardboard coffee
-2 more rooftop views
-dark rooms with bill viola and the five angels
-tim hawkinson pneumatics
-bench rest stops at museums
-super sonic power hearing
-long eyelashes & smile wrinkles
-pink glasses
-nearly winning ping-pong
-meniscus blankage
-air mattress slippage
-teapot browsing
-under table nudges
-comfort in quiet moments
-"star" gazing
-lychee martinis
-being an observer at a table of 12 where everyone is yelling
-wandering with loose aim
-cafe searching
-music boxes
-fallen chocolate chip souffle cake
-friendly faces dancing the night away in foreign territory
-good soundtracks for the day, completely unplanned
-cut mangoes in orange bowls
-mysterious bruises
-long, lazy mornings
-lucky subways on days with slight hangovers
-falling asleep and sleeping comfortably with ease
-strange little tidbits of conversation loaded with importance
-"does it bother you when i'm quiet?"
-determining in my own mind's eye if it is scandal or drama, and realizing i don't care if it is either
-seeing robots everywhere dispersed throughout the city fabric
-discovering the infinite mirrors at the prada store
-remembering my mom's work when i was small and the movable filing system
-not being in charge of the camera all the time
-seeing new york from 20 floors up and feeling like you are nearly at the top of the world, separated from it yet not isolated
-feeling snow falling on my cheeks as we walk thru the east village for a late night snack
-finding the paths of central park where the gates had not overtaken
-discovering the one defective christo, with no hopes of it being rescued any time soon
-climbing 6 flights of stairs to get "home"
-cozy mini-futon sharing
-the feeling of knowing one is blessed because you are surrounded by such wonderful friends
-meeting new people and not feeling that any extensive effort need be spent in over-exertion
-discovering a hidden yet carefully placed "souvenir" in my new york book upon my return
-being able to appreciate the feeling of contentment from the knowledge that a truly delightful weekend was had by all

and now my mind is cleared...i just came from studio where the boys were playing their weekly music session. i sat on the carpeted hallway for quite some time, eyes closed, allowing the music to take me away. so relaxed, so nice, so far away from studio my mind wandered. and now, i shall try to recapture this weekend's contentment and this evening's beat as i lay my head upon my pillow and pray that sweet thoughts and dreams envelope my mind...i haven't been sleeping too well since my return...there is hope that tonight will be different...

ah...one more thought to hold dear that puts an immense smile upon my face --- mirror images and the accompanying feeling of being completely wrapped up in a shield of affection and total lack of self-consciousness...this in itself is a rarity and something not to be forgotten lightly.