10 o'clock confessional

argh...it is now 9:16pm (6:16pm california time)...only half an hour ago i was woken up from my short little power nap by my favourite nap-waker-upper. (yawn) i still have sleep probably in my eyes, but i quickly made the decision (after the phone kept disrupting my conversation), to change from the pajama pants back into my jeans and head out for the coffee that my head has been aching for all day long.

(pause to take a sip of the lightly brown sugared espresso sitting in the white cup by her right side)

mmmmm...yum yum...so good. this place has really been awful for my caffeine addiction.


ok...where was i? i guess it has been awhile since i have written anything here, pertaining to what has been going on in this french speaking part of canadia. the update:

-finally got all my classes squared away...it is almost as if i am part of the core 10 students that has been admitted to the master's of history and theory of architecture group...very exciting...one of my classes, critical writing with r.castro will be put into a publication, and this is also something to look forward to. i am almost sad that i will have to return to alexandria and leave my classmates already...i have classes only on tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday...every class has the same 10 people, so i can imagine that after 13 weeks it will be hard to leave.

-last saturday i met thom (a fellow nantucketer), we had brunch in a place that reminded me of linnaea's (a very nice, pleasant find) and then headed to the CCA to see the douglas coupland "supercity" and also the "montreal thinks big in the 60s" exhibit. the day was refreshing and the air crisp. after we parted i treated myself to a long wandering walk of browsing thru shops and also a mcdonald's french fry run.

-i'm realizing that my second home will be at the mcgill blacklader-lauterman library (specifically art & architecture)...the collection is fairly extensive and since my new best friends for the semester are umberto-eco, heidegger, merleau-ponty, ricouer, husserl, and many, many more...i know that i will have many secret meetings with them in the deep dark recesses of the corners at the library...hehe

ack...my head still hurts...must not have been a caffeine headache but rather atmospheric pressure related. the skys were grey today and filled with rain. i decided to get off at the mont-royal metro stop (one further than normal) and wander in the wetness towards the post-office and home. i was pleasantly welcomed by tons of second-hand shops, more creperies, boulangeries, more inviting coffee shops with internet gratuit (free internet), and the infamous montreal corner sexshops...hehe...

one of the most interesting things i heard today: the most wonderful thing about life is it's uncertainty...that it is not something black or white...(for those of us who like the grey areas, hearing these words said by another proves to be comforting)

there are other issues that have been going on in the back of my brain, at the forefront of my heart, things that i wish not to write out loud. another thing i heard that struck my ears: we are masters of the things which we have not yet written, and slaves to what we have.

(long pause)

i like this coffeeshop very much, even though it is filled with stinky, older men who have a passion for chess...the walls are red, and the soundtrack is amazing...i like the perforated sheets of metal on the walls, the holes are 3/4" circles and so there is a nice shadow always cast on the redness of the otherwise plain walls. it makes me aspire to want to own a place like such, where so many find a refuge here...as i am already learning from apg, architecture is much about participation, and as simple a space as this is, the levels of participation are fantastically high and to me this is a success...

i am writing a lot this evening...perhaps i am procrastinating my conversation with umberto eco, or just trying to recover from the previous vitruvius encounter. i will feel rather used and abused after this semester has come to an end, moving from one fantastic mind to the next...it is good and necessary for me.

(sigh) for some reason not so odd, i am longing for a quiet, extended evening with a boy i know. tonight i desire quiet conversation and gentle touches. it would be nice to one of these days wake up from my naps and not hear just a still voice on the phone, but rather feel the air move behind his breath upon my face. perhaps i shouldn't write such things here but i am feeling rather vulnerable at the moment and the good music + red confessional coffeeshop makes me miss him.