my find for the day: Disquiet: Pessoa's Trunk

I Am Tired by Fernando Pessoa

I am tired, that is clear,
Because, at certain stage, people have to be tired.
Of what I am tired, I don't know:
It would not serve me at all to know
Since the tiredness stays just the same.
The wound hurts as it hurts
And not in function of the cause that produced it.
Yes, I am tired,
And ever so slightly smiling
At the tiredness being only this -
In the body a wish for sleep,
In the soul a desire for not thinking
And, to crown all, a luminous transparency
Of the retrospective understanding ...
And the one luxury of not now having hopes?
I am intelligent: that's all.
I have seen much and understood much of what I
have seen.
And there is a certain pleasure even in tiredness
this brings us,
That in the end the head does still serve for
something.


(24.06.1935)

dear god, am i tired today....

hey shorty, it's my birthday! we're gonna party like it's my birthday!!

this is just turning out to be one sooper-dooper day! not only was i greeted by my specially made gazoo sign this morning (for some reason big daddy thinks i look like him, or i am a smart know-it-all like him), anyhow, i was also greeted by this sign at work (i'm not sure if it is genuine love or just another form of bribery to keep me from the inevitable leaving for school). all i have to say about that is---whatever.

& my brudder wrote me an email that it was time to take a trip to california in april. so i bought my non-stop ticket in an instant...insta-trip! happy birthday to me!

& it's acutally warm and sunny and bright and shiny---so that above all things makes me a happy person....exhale---i think i jsut wrote all that in like 10 seconds or less.

oh my goodness! we are famous!!! well, not really-really, but our world trade center submission is up on the web...along with the 5,000-something other entrants...now, how cool is that! click me! click me!

my hardship for the last week, this has been my love, my headache, my pride, my pain for the last year, it's been slow in coming but things are finally beginning to look up. visit the dance institute of washington to see the cause of all our effort---architecture can be worth it....it's a hard fight, but heck, what isn't in this life:

married chairs, dating chairs, single&looking chair:


brooklyn head-out-of-window-like-a-dog-shot, waffle house breakfast, mama-bug & baby-bug:

i miss my family today:

the piano is up and running...now to find some sheet music to play some tunes! woo-hoo! i'm so happy....let's start with some free piano arrangements

valentine's day cards that match my mix-miatched feeling about this luvy-dovey holiday....they are pretty kewl and put a smile on my pink-resistant-heart.

check this out: we love you, yes you.

oh yeah! time to do a little dance....my keyboard came today, it's bigger than me! but i am-oh-so-happy and can't wait for this 3 day break to play the nite away with sweet sounds emitting from my fingertips. yippee!!

my friends!!! oh, how i wish i could have been there...that would have been the best. i've had those momentary nostalgia flashbacks. and every-once-&-again i get those craving for firestone fries or tonita's taquitos...and of course the warmth and smiles...surrogate brother wrote me a note and a link to see how much i missed. on the one hand i'm so thankful for the digi-cam, that i can feel "almost" as if i were there. and on the otherhand it is a curse-ed machine, since the feeling of "almost" is nearly worse than not being there at all. sigh...here is the link - ::SLO arch reunion feb 2004:: - and here is the note -

Hello all.
This past weekend I was reminded how much I enjoy the company of friends.
So I thought I'd drop a line and share.

A little reunion was had in SLO.
Much fun.
Many laughs.
Plentiful hugs.
And even a few open-hearted discussions on life & love.

Mac put up some of the photos on her webpage.
Here's the link.

I hope you view them and know that you were well-missed and where in our thoughts.

my happy song: Hey Ya by OutKast


1, 2, 3, go!

My baby don't mess around
Because she loves me so
And this I know fa sho (Uh!)
But does she really wanna
But can't stand to see me walk out the do'
Don't try to fight the feeling
'Cause the thought alone
Is killing me right now (Uh!)
Thank God for Mom and Dad
For sticking two together
'Cause we don't know how

Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya

You think you've got it
Oh, you think you've got it
But got it just don't get it
Til theres's nothing at all (Ah!)
We get together
Oh, we get together
But separate's always better
When there's feelings involved (Oh!)
If what they say is "nothing is forever,"
Then what makes
Then what makes
Then what makes
Then what makes
Then what makes (What makes? What makes?)
Love the exception?
So why oh, why oh
Why oh, why oh, why oh
Are we so in denial
When we know we're not happy here?

(Ya'll don't want to hear me
You just want to dance
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya)

Oh oh!
Oh oh!
Don't want to meet your daddy (Oh oh!)
Just want you in my Caddy (Oh oh! Oh oh!)
Don't want to meet your momma (Oh oh!)
Just want to make you come-a (Oh oh!)
I'm (Oh oh!)
I'm (Oh oh!)
I'm just being honest (Oh oh!)
I'm just being honest

Hey! Alright now!
Alright now, fellas! (Yeah!)
Now what's cooler than being cool? (Ice cold!)
I can't hear ya!
I say what's, what's cooler than being cool? (Ice cold!)
Alright! (15x)

Okay now, ladies! (Yeah!)
Now we gon' break this thing down in just a few seconds
Now don't have me break this thing down for nothin!
Now I wanna see ya'll on ya'll baddest behavior!
Lend me some sugar!
I am your neighbor!
Ah! Here we go! Uh!

Shake it, sh-shake it (Oh oh!)
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, shake it
Sh-shake it (Oh oh!)
Shake it like a polaroid picture
Shake it, sh-shake it (Hey ya!)
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it (Shake it sugar!)
Shake it like a polaroid picture

(Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, shake it
Sh-shake it
Shake it like a polaroid picture
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, shake it
Shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it like a polaroid picture)

Now all Beyonce's and Lucy Lui's and baby dolls
Get on the floor
Get on the floor
You know what to do
You know what to do
You know what to do

Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya....

more rhizomatic research:
:: sympoiesis :rhizomatic author: sympoiesis ::

so, here it goes, my rant about why i tend to emotionally shut down as the ultimate v-day approaches....i don't know why exactly this happens, i mean maybe somehow my body just goes chemically out of balance...my head really does get cloudy and it is hard to see thru the fogginess. i just do not comprehend why such a celebration of the things that mean the most to us are confined to one day of the 365 days. it is not in red roses or in candy. it is not in a fancy dinner or a momentary flicker of romance. it is more in the daily "let me sneak by you and give you a sweet kiss because you are looking so good right now's." it is in the "i saw this in the window of some store today and immediately i thought of you's." it is in the "good night sweety, i love you today's." it is in the "let me get that for you because...well, just because's."

it is those moments when someone takes a minute out of their own day just to do something nice for someone else....that's all.

and just for the heck of it, here's what some other peeps think of this whole ordeal: "Love Sucks Month" aka Valentine's Day is a Fraud
maybe we're all wrong and are just waiting to be swept up off our feet....

Buzz has laid out a challenge I intend to fulfill---Buzzstuff: If wishes were fishes

FUSEDSPACE: an international competition for innovative applications for new technology in the public domain.
To quote Jack Skellington, the infamous Pumpkin King from "The Nightmare Before Xmas" --- "what does it mean? What Does it Mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"

for later perusal:
architect.org
.architect

aw man (little kid's voice, complete with pout) --- someone has taken our future firm name already...i guess as long as it's not architecture related....it should be fine, right? well, anyhow, this site looks like it has some tidbits of fun regardless: rhizome.org

other rhizome related things, for future reference:
rhizome collective
rhizome@internet
rhizome
Rhizome: detritus references