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at java u...listening to soothing sounds on this sunday afternoon trying to muster up my creative thinking skills. once again will attempt to begin/revise/finish my critical writing paper. i have sat down so many times this past week, started typing, gotten 3 pages into it, and then "file-quit-do you want to save" answer "no". i see this as the modern day equivalent to crumpling up a piece of paper and throwing it across the room into the garbage. for some reason the file-quit-save-no process is so anti-climatic. maybe i should just keep a stack of old papers already meant for garbage next to me so i can just crumple them at the appropriate moments. not a bad idea, a kind of "take out all your frustrations" ritual. i suppose that wouldn't be such a wise idea in public places such as java-u. anyhow, here is a sampling of the sounds which resonate with me today, yesterday, and as of recent...hehe...decided to write the lyrics that echo with me since i know not all of you like my music choices (eh-hem, bg...heehee). maybe you will find the poetry in the words themselves minus the music. (bg, miss you much, you don't call me back or text me, how come? 6 days till we meet again...the official less-than-a-week countdown has begun.)
"the trapeze swinger" (iron&wine)
Please, remember me Happily By the rosebush laughing With bruises on my chin The time when We counted every black car passing Your house beneath the hill And up until Someone caught us in the kitchen With maps, a mountain range, A piggy bank A vision too removed to mention But Please, remember me Fondly I heard from someone you're still pretty And then They went on to say That the pearly gates Had some eloquent graffiti Like 'We'll meet again' And 'Fuck the man' And 'Tell my mother not to worry' ...Please, remember me At Halloween Making fools of all the neighbors Our faces painted white By midnight We'd forgotten one another And when the morning came I was ashamed Only now it seems so silly That season left the world And then returned And now you're lit up by the city So Please, remember me Mistakenly...Please, remember me As in the dream...Please, remember me My misery...Please, remember me Seldomly...Please, remember me Finally...
"when you smile" (the flaming lips)
"the bends" (radiohead)
Where do we go from here? The words are coming out all wierd Where are you now when I need you? Alone on an aeroplane Falling asleep against the window pane My blood will thicken. I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain I’d be scared that there’s nothing underneath And who are my real friends? Have they all got the bends? Am I really sinking this low? ...And I wish it was the sixties I wish I could be happy I wish I wish I wish that something would happen...I want to live and breathe I want to be part of the human race.
"dig for fire" (pixies)
There is this old woman She lives down the road You can often find her Kneeling inside of her hole And I often ask her Are you looking for the mother lode? Huh? No. No my child, this is not my desire And then she said I’m digging for fire ...There is this old man Who spent so much of his life sleeping That he is able to keep awake for the rest of his years He resides On a beach In a town Where I am going to live And I often ask him Are you looking for the mother lode? Huh? No. No my child, this is not my desire And then he said I’m digging for fire...
"the love that i crave" (the blow)
The love that I crave is a polar bear to gore me. Then, I'd know the force with which she adored me. The love of my dreams is the stuff of my nightmares- when I wake up in screams that's how I know that I really care. I must await the swing of the scorpion's tail, because my impatient advances always end up so pathetic. Little pinches and pokes don't mean a thing compared to a true arrival and the shock that it brings. Pick it up, try it, get tired of it, rewind. I'm so tired of being wasted just chasing the same old thing. I want to get hit by a big thing, come take me, change me.
"he lays in the reins" (iron&wine)
One more drink tonight as your gray stallion rests Where he lays in the reins For all of the speed and the strength he gave One more kiss tonight from some tall stable girl She’s like grace from the earth When you’re all tuckered out and tame One more tired thing the gray moon on the rise When your want from the day Makes you to curse in your sleep at night One more gift to bring we may well find you laid Like your steed in his reins Tangled too tight and too long to fight
"come on petunia" (the blow)
Every little thing she does is magic. Every thing she does just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on. "Come on Petunia", you thought in your head, "It would all be so easy if you could be led to the cave where I hide you in linens and frames, and in new combinations I've made of our names. It's a tiny hole, yeah, but you'd fit if I sliced you up wee itty bitty, I'd sliver and splice you and then you could be many, and I'd be the one who was privy to love you and show you the fun." Every little thing she does is magic. Every thing she does just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on...I resolved to call her up a thousand times a day I thought I'd ask her if she'd marry me in some old fashioned way well but my silent fears persisted and before i reached the phone like before my tongue has twisted must I always be alone. You're all jenny and lindsey and fine and I'm underwater, I'm shedding my mind. And I'm pretty sure baby if you'd hold my head I could live like I've wished for and undo my dread, because, I see candygrams up in the ceiling tiles, witty postcards sent off from the sandwich isles. In these towns where vacations will lead us, I'll hold out my treasures and their wealth will feed us. But, oh, she does as she wishes, and no, she won't be your missus. You kingdom it widens and you're there alone with all that love, and the void on your throne. Every little thing she does is magic. Every thing she does just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on.
"hide and seek" (imogen heap)
"the passives" (the faint)
left eye spins in circles, passives line the rail. they get no satisfaction from the electro-static breaks. a beat can't cut the passives loose they're afraid what we will say. no harm is done when you try it then hide. parts moving - keep moving. a cool collected life is a safe move... you heard that. you're unsure but its clear to us. come to terms, you're alone here observing. every time you go out you observe. walk past collared passives. don't look toward their eyes. it adds to their discomfort, shows there's some confidence they miss.
"hock it" (the blow)
You're so slidy with your tender lines, I know you take the babies by the hand. And it's all fine until you tug my time, that's how you put your fuel into demand. Chests ablaze with just the aiming of your gaze you can blink and watch the ladies take a fall. I recall the soft heat of when you left me in the street and I watched you walk on. Hearts beat quicker when your eyes provide the liquor, it's enough to flood the bachelorette parties all the girls would throw, if they thought the groom would show- but they know that he won't. He's a punk, won't give it up. Hot looks but he can't touch. The ----something or other--- is the chase. To catch your gaze is like a bird within the hand. It began so nice, but now I'm trapped inside, it seems your cage for me must be the plan. You mean tricks, like the wetness of your lips when you say, "just put your heart here in my hand." And though I know you might hock it, I can't keep it in my pocket. I've tried, but I can't. Oh man. I can see, and all the fellas they agree, that a boy like you is not to be trusted. But it's just so hot, it incinerates my thoughts, and I'm not really able to make it stop. Your hot staring, though it seems it might be caring, I know that it's me that you're gonna drop. But I don't unh care, I'm as happy half aware. Keep it there, hot eyes. Your tease is the best prize.
You're so slidy with your tender lines, I know you take the babies by the hand. And it's all fine until you tug my time, that's how you put your fuel into demand. Chests ablaze with just the aiming of your gaze you can blink and watch the ladies take a fall. I recall the soft heat of when you left me in the street and I watched you walk on. Hearts beat quicker when your eyes provide the liquor, it's enough to flood the bachelorette parties all the girls would throw, if they thought the groom would show- but they know that he won't. He's a punk, won't give it up. Hot looks but he can't touch. The ----something or other--- is the chase. To catch your gaze is like a bird within the hand. It began so nice, but now I'm trapped inside, it seems your cage for me must be the plan. You mean tricks, like the wetness of your lips when you say, "just put your heart here in my hand." And though I know you might hock it, I can't keep it in my pocket. I've tried, but I can't. Oh man. I can see, and all the fellas they agree, that a boy like you is not to be trusted. But it's just so hot, it incinerates my thoughts, and I'm not really able to make it stop. Your hot staring, though it seems it might be caring, I know that it's me that you're gonna drop. But I don't unh care, I'm as happy half aware. Keep it there, hot eyes. Your tease is the best prize.
"cumulus" (imogen heap)
"hey you" (the blow)
"well you needn't" (solvent)
"la chanson des deja vieux de demain" (les acrobates)
"photograph" (weezer)
If you want it, you can have it But you’ve got to learn to reach out there and grab it ’cause everybody wants some love Shooting from the stars above And though my heart will break There’s more that I could take I could never get enough If you need it, you should show it ’cause you might play so monastic that you blow it ’cause everybody wants some hope Something they can barely know And though my heart will break There’s more that I could take I could never let it go It’s in the photograph It’s in the photograph It’s in the photograph of love ’cause everybody wants a dream Something they can barely see And though my heart will break There’s more that I could take I could never let it be It’s in the photograph It’s in the photograph It’s in the photograph of love If you blew it, don’t reject it Just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it Just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it Just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it
"the forest - tree mix" (the cure) so hypnertomachia polyphilo!
Come closer and see See into the trees Find the girl If you can Come closer and see See into the dark Just follow your eyes Just follow your eyes I hear her voice Calling my name The sound is deep In the dark I hear her voice And start to run Into the trees Into the trees Into the trees Suddenly I stop But I know it’s too late I’m lost in a forest All alone The girl was never there It’s always the same I’m running towards nothing Again and again and again and again