pressing my snooze button 3 times before crawling out of bed, taking a long leisurely shower, having time to change my pants 3 times because of morning indecisiveness, taking time to put on jewelry and do my make-up, wear my new lipstick, leaving a good-morning-have-a-good-day-note to my roommate, opening the door and walking to the metro knowing that it's going to be sunny and 75 degree weather today, seeing hanging cherry trees in full bloom with birds chirping happily, sipping my iced grande hazelnut latte and munching on madeleines----now that's what i call a good morning!

wishing big time right now that it was friday....(yawn & stretch)...i don't know how i'm going to handle the rest today....someone please make my life interesting to keep me going for the remaining moments of this beautiful day.

words of yesterday and the day before:
al·tru·ism (n. )
1. Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness.
altruistic
2. Regardful of others; beneficent; unselfish; -- opposed to egoistic or selfish. Bain.
lewd (adj.)
1. Preoccupied with desire; lustful.
2. Obscene; indecent.
3. Obsolete. Wicked.
4. suggestive of or tending to moral looseness; "lewd whisperings of a dirty old man"; "an indecent gesture"; "obscene telephone calls"; "salacious limericks"
5. driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires

so now the real question? how does one fulfill both? is there any connection whatsoever? one being entirely selfless and the other being entirely selfish. this life we live is full of contradictions.

on an entirely different note, my shoulder is still killing me....ouchie. and there is a smile on my face, yet a slight tinge of pain in my heart.

i've seen just a little bit too much of this for the last couple of weeks....when will the madness end??

anyhow, the boy went to the carribean to "work"---now how cool would that be? i have been left alone to romp around in my own michievious thoughts and conversations, things which will ultimately lead me to a place of uncertainty. i do not know how i really feel about all of this. i do know that i have this sinking feeling that i am lying to everybody....keeiping little secrets here and there. it makes the monotony of working more exciting....is that so wrong? i wonder how long the charade will last. i keep pondering on that movie "le divorce"---kate hudson's strange infidelity and the mystery of it all....the gifts and the sweet talking words and the challenging fight for superiority on the one hand...and the comfort of routine and unspokeness, a kind of security that will go no where but remain like a flat line on 2 dimensional paper. it's like wanting to wear both purple pajama's with pink pigs on them and the racy red riveting lingerie simultaneously. it all comes down to one question: what do you want? and for me the answer is simple---i want it all.

a warning to all those who happen to stumble into my path: please be extremely aware and watch out, for you are bound to be trampled upon.

----------------------------

i'm curious how normal people contain such emotions. for surely i'm not the first to want a little bit of everything. i have been told on numerous occasions, "never settle for anything less." well, that's just the problem---you can never find it all in one place. just like what it takes to make a good cereal, it's not just what's in the box---it's the fact that it's a saturday morning (morning as in 12 noon), and you have just stumbled out of bed sleepy-eyed and hungry, it's finding your absolute favourite bowl and favourite spoon, it's the way the cereal sounds as you pour it, it's pouring sugar over the top in just the right amount, and watching the milk sift thru every crevice, then it's listening to your spoon clink against the side of the bowl and then then finishing the experience listening to it go crunch-crunch in your mouth.

so you see my problem? how many days out of the year does everything fall into place? how many times or how many people does it take to fill one's life to make you feel complete? or is it the age old saying---once you have had the taste of a good bowl of cereal, nothing will ever be the same....

word of the day: fickle (adj.)

1. Not fixed or firm; liable to change; unstable; of a changeable mind; not firm in opinion or purpose; inconstant; capricious
2. They know how fickle common lovers are.
syn: Wavering; irresolute; unsettled; vacillating; unstable; inconsonant; unsteady; variable; mutable; changeful; capricious; veering; shifting."

the word of the day: asinine (adj.)

1. Marked by failure to exercise prudent judgement or common sense : SILLY
2. Of, relating to, or like an ass (that's my favourite part)
- as' i-ninely adv. - as-i-nin' -ty

who would've thunk? a portable cloud: Urbanpeel.com---Cloud

i know, i know....no news from me as of late...been busy as all out. finally got a chance last night to spend some time on my piano. i wonder if playing the piano can be a cure for carpel-tunnel. ( is that how you spell it?) my fingers feel like they are eternally stuck in the hold-the-mouse-position---it sucks...and i suck at the piano now...sigh. maybe i need more hand massages...another sigh.

anyhow, my roommate last night likened me to timone from the lion king...and he also told me i had "huevos." funny thing is---i named my cat, er, now my mom's cat, timone, and i'm a girl, so how could i have "huevos"? funny...well at least a put a smile on my face this morning.

and just as i was about to walk into the office buidling today i felt a little snowflake flutter down onto my nose---i told you all!!! i should become a weatherperson, i forecasted that just because we had 70 degree weather and springtime-likenesses that there would be one more cold snowy day. you know, me and those groundhog are down like that...i still don't understand, does the groundhog really look to see his shadow??

this looks like a fun weekend project...well when i have the time to make kewl things---when exactly that is, well, i'm not so sure....anyhow, for future reference:
to make:marble magnets

oh my goodiness! i totally forgot to mention the coolest invention of this century...well, ok how about the last 5 years. a couple weeks ago now, a trip was made to baltimore to visit the infamous john&john duo a.k.a. alter urban . well, anyhow we went to see their latest project renovation, a most impressive feat for a youngster. i say his golden smile and halo will get him far in life...if only i---ack! i'm getting off subject. john&john they both have segways...yes those cooky looking lawnmower type things that zip down the sidewalk...well i got to ride it! and was it way cooler than cool? heck ya! i wish i had my camera on me so i could capture the excitement and wind blowing thru my hair as i sped passed pedestrians thanks to the gyroscopic invention. besides it makes the coolest "george jetson" noises!

here you can see the presentation for yourself: segway | interactive model

and here is golden boy with his golden smile and that tarnished halo ever present above his tallness: