roy street collective

i will be going here tonight...the thomas mcintosh lecture (link1 & link2) should be interesting...besides, i am desperately in need of something that is potentially inspiring...yea! so happy it is friday....ugh...however, i have to read "things: 4 metabletic reflections" by van den berg and prepare my lecture on it for next tuesday...not to mention the portion of roland barthes "rustle of language"... guess my nose will definitely be in the books this weekend...much coffee and much laika...i wish for the sun to come out, perhaps this could lead to a day of reading on the grass in the parc. but for some reason i doubt this possibility for all of a sudden the city has been surrounded in a sea of wind and chill.

touche-moi!

apres 2046

something wise that was whispered to me by the tips of the fingers:

j'ai l'amour amical et l'amitié amoureuse.

some days...

sometimes the rare day comes when i feel as though my feet were floating above the ground...the feeling of gliding without actually moving. i used to blame this on numerous issues --- lack of sleep, too much caffeine, too much humidity in the air, too much work...but then it happened to me today....this distance...

and the weather was perfect. i've been sleeping fairly large amounts. and there was no sign of caffeine over-dosage.

even now, i feel separated from my surroundings.

my heart feels heavy for some reason today.

and of course as i write those words "so here we are" by bloc party comes on...sigh...one of my melancholic favourites.

ugh...guess today is just a purple kind of day for me.

5 minutes of barthes

on "packages" & "three writings"

a 4 o'clock in the morning craving

montreal by wind

the day so far...

7:16am
i feel as though woken from a dream at the moment. eating my morning bread and jam with complimentray tea with arcade fire's "in the backseat" in my ears....almost a garden state plane crashing down moment...my mind wanters to the recesses of my brain where nostalgia resides. i think of magical places of growing up, aerial views of beaches, & i long for my favourite secret garden coffeeshop & the smell of freshly cooked waffles in the a.m. hours. i wonder if montreal will leave me with a deep enough indent. i wonder that i will have impressions of nostalgia in future years to come. how sad would that be for four months to pass of one's life and not be able to recall a smell, taste, sight - to not have made a significant & lasting bond of communication with another, because really it is only in dialogue that impressions are made...

my tea is too warm & jam a little too sweet for my not-so-awake-self this morning.

(note to self: "funeral" album by arcade fire is a goodmorning-lazy-but-get-yourself-moving soundtrack)

i hope that i do not greet the rare books library today with sleepy eyes, but at this point it seems inevitable in its happening.

8:34pm
well, it's been over 12 hours, 10 phone conversations, 2 seemingly long walks to/from school, 1 espresso, 1 perrier, 1 latte, 1 panini, and multiple brief car rides later in the day...

ugh...had to be dragged slightly kicking and screaming for a much needed time out. i was going to give myself one, but it was nice to be whisked around town, on errands other than my own, no thought required on my part. highlights:

*i bought baci...haven't had these for a while now...there was a little italian delicatessen shop right across the street from my old office where i would frequently indulge in the baci-love...and my boss always knew how to make amends if he had pushed the limits a little too far...one carefully placed baci-kiss placed on her keyboard for her to find upon returning from lunch. (hehe...i must confess, i did indulge in multiple bacis while in italy this past summer...however, i don't count that seeing as it was the normal everyday thing to do.)

*i saw quail eggs in one store, and admired the different grey-green-blackish markings on each egg. each unique...and though the brown & white eggs are each different in their own right, no one ever notices. i wonder what we as people must have/do to have this subtle appearance of differentiation...

*another store was practically wall-papered in 3 dimensional produce...hehe, the fruits and vegetables practically climbing one on top of the other, scrambling for attention, saying "look at me! look at me!"

*a brief 15 minute nap where i could slip away into not-think-about-anything-at-all-land. (naptime seranade: athlete's "tourist" album) until that dammed garbage truck/moving van....whatever the hell it is that likes to hide in the back alley behind my window decided to disturb me...

ok...enough procrastinating for me...once again another day i was hoping to have something drawn...and yet another day without letting my hand/mind escape away. tonight will be a late night again as i prepare my lecture for tomorrow.

another addiction

i wonder why we sometimes allow ourselves to certain compulsions. whether it be coffee, drawing in my sketchbook, or even the new one for me---flickr...what is it that we find so wonderful about giving ourselves over to the ebb and flow of a force that can be greater than us ourselves? with coffee, it is caffeine...and my sketchbook, the fact that i can lose myself in my hand/pen...ok...for now i gotta go...lunch crew is here...finally.

a long time since i drew...

wishes from fei

remembering wabi-sabi

1. All things are impermanent. The inclination toward nothingness is unrelenting and universal. Even things that have all the earmarks of substance - things that are hard, inert, solid - present nothing more than the illusion of permanence. We may wear blinders, use ruses to forget, ignore, or pretend otherwise - but all comes to nothing in the end. Everthing wears down. The planet and stars, and even intangible things like reputation, family heritage, historical memory, scientific theorems, mathematical proofs, great art and literature (even in digital form) - all eventually fade into oblivion and nonexistence.

2. All things are imperfect. Nothing that exists is without imperfections. When we look really closely at things we see the flaws. The sharp edge of a razor blade, when magnified, reveals microscopic pits, chips and variegations. Every craftsman knows the limits of perfection: the imperfections glare back. And as things begin to break down and approach the primordial state, they become even less perfect, more irregular.

3. All things are incomplete. all things, including the universe itself, are in a constant, neverending state of becoming or dissolving. Often we arbitrarily designate moments, points along the way, as "finished" or "complete." But when does something's destiny finally come to fruition? Is the plant complete when it flowers? When it goes to seed? When the seeds sprout? When everything turns into compost? The notion of completion has no basis in wabi-sabi.

"Greatness" exists in the inconspicuous and overlooked details. Wabi-sabi represents the exact opposite of the Western ideal of great beauty as something monumental, spectacular, and enduring. Wabi-sabi is not found in nature at moments of bloom and lushness, but at moments of inception or subsiding. Wabi-sabi is not about gorgeous flowers, majestic trees, or bold landscapes. Wabi-sabi is about the minor and hidden, the tentative and the ephemeral: things so subtl and evanescent they are invisible to the vulgar eyes.

Like homeopathic medicine, the essence of wabi-sabi is apportioned in small doses. As the dose decreases, the effect becomes more potent, more profound. The closer things get to nonexistence, the more exquisite and evocative they become. Consequently to experience wabi-sabi means you have to slow way down, be patient, and look very closely.

*Leonard Koren, "Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers", 1994

faith restored

well, it's been a couple hours now, but my tummy is still sufficiently happy...filled to the brim with the first pho in officially 7 weeks! so happy...not content, but happy. still new to this place, and in some senses it still feels as though i'm merely visiting. but there have been a few encounters now that i have had that lead me to believe that montreal is a good place, with good people...and for that i'm able to breath a little easier and enjoy my daily espressos just a little bit more...

now if i could only begin to feel the same way about thesis...ugh...back to reading, for this little girl.

note to self: must refrain from being overly zealous with the my ellipsis usage...(ugh, there i go again)

street observations

cosmos

The cosmos is the place constructed beforehad so that things can happen. The terrain is the site of the cosmos and the cosmos is the site of the architecture. The setting is the site of the cosmos and the cosmos is the site of the action. It is then necessary to survey, measure, photograph, mark contours, visualize, render, model and then intervene, change scale, distort, transgress and create another world of the site in order to finally turn it into a cosmos. Your cosmos: particles that surround concentrically the vision of an author. An author sees absolutely everything in a unique way.*

rules/notes to self (list to be continually expanded):
produce an architecture of the senses

draw synaesthetically

*Manuel Gasua, Vicente Guallart, Willy Muller, Federico Soriano, Fernando Porras, Jose Morales, Susanna Cros, The Metapolis Dictionay of Advanced Architecture: city, technology, and society in the information age (Barcelona, Spain: ACTAR 2003), 134.

ok...i lied...

so i didn't draw yesterday as promised...but i did find a couple of nice discovieries, one being this empty lot with mangled spaghetti rebar + urban pond...

yannick pouliot and "le courtisan"... a 1x1 meter box tower, rough construction of plywood built approximately 4 meters tall. looks like nothing from the outside, except for a piece of white paper attached that says "would you please close the door behind you..." and then you realize that in the box tower is a door. you can hear the music play when the door is closed and turn off when a person exits...there is an element of wonder about this box that intrigues me. so i carefully wait my turn, and then approach the door to open it---it appears dark inside, but i latch the door behind me anyhow. as soon as i hear the click, the light turns on and a minuet worthy of royal palace ballrooms begins to play...i look up, and 4 meters above my head i see a glass chandelier, and this 3x3 now octagonal space is painted bright white, with fancy decorative mouldings all around. immediately i smile, and then i also get a whiff of the light perfume that is sprayed. so uplifting and such a pleasant surprise...upon leaving the magestic little room, i put my "museum face" back on...hehe...why must we always feel the need to be so serious in the white walled rooms of this institution...well, i was secretly smiling and giggling inside nonetheless from this little delight.

jerome fortin he uses everday objets (matches, plastic bottles, japanese comic books), to make curiously wonderful other everyday objects (wallpapers, necklaces, etc.)...the attention to small detail was so apparent and made me smile.

one more thing to share...francine savard...but i can't find any particular reference to the piece i want to share with you...i'll have to do a little sketch and scan it later...remind me...anyhow i can at least share the name with you and make you do the translation into english to get a glimpse of what is about....it's called....

"ici/la-bas et moi/toi"

on a mission today

this is where i'm going today... musee d'art de contemporain de montreal - i hope that i can get some much needed drawing in...or at least that they allow me to photograph things...i'm in search of inspiration today...i realized that i haven't drawn a single thing since being in this new land...today that will change...check back later and yell at me if you don't see any updated material...

from my room (bed, doodle, view) to make my brain hurt go away

ugh...i thought that these careful little reminders of what my room looks like on a happy, sunny, clean day would help to ease the pain i have they call headache...but alas, i give in...somebody please, i need advil...ouch. double ouch.

10 o'clock confessional

argh...it is now 9:16pm (6:16pm california time)...only half an hour ago i was woken up from my short little power nap by my favourite nap-waker-upper. (yawn) i still have sleep probably in my eyes, but i quickly made the decision (after the phone kept disrupting my conversation), to change from the pajama pants back into my jeans and head out for the coffee that my head has been aching for all day long.

(pause to take a sip of the lightly brown sugared espresso sitting in the white cup by her right side)

mmmmm...yum yum...so good. this place has really been awful for my caffeine addiction.


ok...where was i? i guess it has been awhile since i have written anything here, pertaining to what has been going on in this french speaking part of canadia. the update:

-finally got all my classes squared away...it is almost as if i am part of the core 10 students that has been admitted to the master's of history and theory of architecture group...very exciting...one of my classes, critical writing with r.castro will be put into a publication, and this is also something to look forward to. i am almost sad that i will have to return to alexandria and leave my classmates already...i have classes only on tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday...every class has the same 10 people, so i can imagine that after 13 weeks it will be hard to leave.

-last saturday i met thom (a fellow nantucketer), we had brunch in a place that reminded me of linnaea's (a very nice, pleasant find) and then headed to the CCA to see the douglas coupland "supercity" and also the "montreal thinks big in the 60s" exhibit. the day was refreshing and the air crisp. after we parted i treated myself to a long wandering walk of browsing thru shops and also a mcdonald's french fry run.

-i'm realizing that my second home will be at the mcgill blacklader-lauterman library (specifically art & architecture)...the collection is fairly extensive and since my new best friends for the semester are umberto-eco, heidegger, merleau-ponty, ricouer, husserl, and many, many more...i know that i will have many secret meetings with them in the deep dark recesses of the corners at the library...hehe

ack...my head still hurts...must not have been a caffeine headache but rather atmospheric pressure related. the skys were grey today and filled with rain. i decided to get off at the mont-royal metro stop (one further than normal) and wander in the wetness towards the post-office and home. i was pleasantly welcomed by tons of second-hand shops, more creperies, boulangeries, more inviting coffee shops with internet gratuit (free internet), and the infamous montreal corner sexshops...hehe...

one of the most interesting things i heard today: the most wonderful thing about life is it's uncertainty...that it is not something black or white...(for those of us who like the grey areas, hearing these words said by another proves to be comforting)

there are other issues that have been going on in the back of my brain, at the forefront of my heart, things that i wish not to write out loud. another thing i heard that struck my ears: we are masters of the things which we have not yet written, and slaves to what we have.

(long pause)

i like this coffeeshop very much, even though it is filled with stinky, older men who have a passion for chess...the walls are red, and the soundtrack is amazing...i like the perforated sheets of metal on the walls, the holes are 3/4" circles and so there is a nice shadow always cast on the redness of the otherwise plain walls. it makes me aspire to want to own a place like such, where so many find a refuge here...as i am already learning from apg, architecture is much about participation, and as simple a space as this is, the levels of participation are fantastically high and to me this is a success...

i am writing a lot this evening...perhaps i am procrastinating my conversation with umberto eco, or just trying to recover from the previous vitruvius encounter. i will feel rather used and abused after this semester has come to an end, moving from one fantastic mind to the next...it is good and necessary for me.

(sigh) for some reason not so odd, i am longing for a quiet, extended evening with a boy i know. tonight i desire quiet conversation and gentle touches. it would be nice to one of these days wake up from my naps and not hear just a still voice on the phone, but rather feel the air move behind his breath upon my face. perhaps i shouldn't write such things here but i am feeling rather vulnerable at the moment and the good music + red confessional coffeeshop makes me miss him.

today i am missing...

i've been napping a lot these past few days. not sure if i am just overwhelmed with the living in a new place, completely removed from my friends...i guess it really hit me yesterday that i wouldn't be moving on to the next city anytime soon. a little strange to all of a sudden come to a screeching halt in my summer of travels and be thrown suddenly into the university, must be studious atmosphere again.

everything is working out more perfectly than i could have possibly imagined though, nothing to complain about:
-apg is my professor...a big woohoo!
-i am basically a master's of history&theoryofarch geek (which i've dreamed of for some time now)
-my house really feels like a home
-i'm surrounded by so much colour and vibrancy everywhere i go
-i can still use my cell phone with the same number so i don't feel completely out of touch, which if you know what my phone looks like is kind of miraculous---hehe
-yesterday i was in the rare books library, freezing my arse off, but looking at illustrated manuscripts written and drawn on animal skin parchment from the year 1400...amaaaazing!
-i am making friends, slowly but surely...i seem to be a little more selective than my classmate counterparts, but meeting new people for me is a very effort-ful, draining process...can only do so many days in a row of go, go, go before a few days of major jenn-time is a necessity (that was yesterday...quiet, peaceful, wandering on my own)

as for today, i met a fellow nantucketer visitng montreal from toronto at a place called "santropol" on the corner of st. urbain & duluth (for future reference)...we brunched in the back terrace that reminded me so of my beloved linnaea's...must take you there if you come to visit...anyhow, after sipping camomile the and nibbling at my salmon/dill sandwhich (oh-so-yummy), we sauntered over to the CCA where there was a room full of lego/super city/tinkertoy creations by writer/author douglas coupland...more flashbacks to my childhood.

nearly time to leave the empty espresso cup behind...this city has been bad for my caffeine addiction. they should start selling espresso and coffee in the same packets that the cigarettes are sold (you know, the ones that have rotting teeth, black brains, melting lungs, and profound pictures of male impotence)...i think the rest of the evening poses some time for playing with paint/india ink/canvas and maybe some reading time...tried to watch my new movie purchase "baraka" but was so relaxed and calmed by it that i fell asleep...

living on an island

i am standing on one of the more recently renovated piers, looking back to vieux montreal...taking in the sites of the harbour this very rainy, grey day...