lilacs

i feel like writing something, but there aren't any words that come to the forefront of my mind right now. sometimes it is good for me just to begin, and the thoughts will follow that need to surface. walking along the cobblestone streets today i was struck by the myriad of hanging lilacs that hovered above, clung to the side, and even reached out to grab me. the smell was amazing and led my eyes to later discover a small little alley courtyard. my hands are cold again, and i find myself needing a sweater...ever have those days where it would just be nice to hug and be hugged in silence? i don't know very many people who value affection as much as i do...sometimes i miss the comfort of just being able to lay my head on someone's lap and just feel the warmth of their leg on my cheek. on friday night i walked home in the rain...i was without umbrella and remember the raindrops falling on my wine red cheeks---the rain was comforting in the fact that it somewhat disguised my own water drops.

i'm just rambling on with no real direction here...i'm not looking forward to the week ahead of me, it will be long and tiresome...my body begins to ache for a much needed de-tensing of the shoulders...on a happy note though, tomorrow my own [ baby ] will arrive. yippee! another thing to keep my mind preoccupied from how much i am beginning to squirm with anxiety re: the coming finals & summer trip & in-between i don't know & montreal move...ugh...where are those flowers that i escaped into earlier today?