spring fever
so, the weather is warm and delightful now (the two weeks of springtime that feel like i'm back in california) and i'm having an extremely difficult time remaining focused and concentrated. there are times when i feel that my well-being is more essential, so being outside, riding my bike, laying on the grass, playing basketball, enjoying ice cream...these things are the things that make my heart happy. i'm having to readjust my entire time schedule so that i can take part in these daytime activities, and then force myself to work late into the evenings...it is worth it though...my spirit is a little bit lighter and my smile a little bit larger these last couple days...
on other sidenotes, i've been a little bit distracted, trying to help a friend cope with the difficult things going on in her life. reassuring her how proud i am for her speaking her voice, how important it is to sometimes not to "spare" another person in exchange for one's own personal sanity and being. i cannot imagine being in her shoes, the word marriage has yet to cross my path, much less the dissolution of marriage...even so, change, no matter how much it will benefit us, is never an easy thing...nonetheless, it is often times the most worthwhile and profound thing we can do for ourselves. never settle for anything less than you deserve, never become complacent, never accept things for the way they are entirely, never stop questioning how our own hearts can continue growing in compassion...
something to remember...yesterday i spent a short while at the cigar shop by the waterfront...i love the aroma of this place, not to mention all the brown, wooden cigar boxes, all shapes and sizes...the owner pulled out this tattered and worn little 3x4 notebook...the pages falling out, but so precious to him as his eyes lit up. inside, he had taped/glued the labels from an entire lifetime of cigar smoking...little scribbled notes below each label describing the taste, and smell, the mood that this particular cigar would fit, dates on which an important cigar was smoked. it was a beautiful little treasure.
in about an hour, i'm leaving to finally go watch [ sin city ]. so excited...a perfect way to end the leisurely weekend and begin the next 2 weeks of toturous deprivement of all life's pleasures. i'm hungry and am contemplating leaving studio now to go and nourish myself with some of my trader joe's splendor that i spoiled myself with...
oh yeah...you know the "time doesn't slow down for those who dream" song? i heard that song sometime in the recent past..and every once in a while the "hit me high/hit me low" part of the chorus would ring in my head...but i didn't know where it came from, or where i heard it...still cannot pinpoint where i heard it (and it's driving me crazy!)...anyhow, so happy that i've been enlightened...and now it's been playing non-stop as my good morning wake-up song, the last couple days anyhow...never fails to put a smile on my face...